Here's some good ones from Art Buchwald, the long running syndicated humorist who died Wednesday, aged 81.
* "A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it."
* "If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."
* "It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh."
* "I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies."